Tuesday, October 20, 2009

The Rock of My Salvation

It's already mid-October. Really? How have we gotten here so fast? We have lovely leaves still on the trees, some falling. We've had a brush with the threat of early snow, which didn't happen. There have been days of glorious sunshine and fabulously clear, crisp air. Several days in a row of miserably cold rain had us stoking the fire in the fireplace four nights in a row.

Big outdoor projects have come to an end and it now remains for us to put away the hammock, swing, and outdoor furniture, coil up the hoses and bring the potted plants into the garage. We are still hoping for enough remaining warmth to inspire a bit more growth in the newly planted grass, thus securing its stability through he Winter to come. We have had a couple of well attended campfires in the backyard and anticipate at least one more marshmallow-roasting evening around the flames.

Meanwhile, Jim is still looking for a job. Now, he has had the time to do a lot around the house in improvements and maintenance, (I haven't had to run the weed whacker since he's returned from Dubai- yay!) and spent much quality time with the kids from Scouting stuff with Isaac to College searching with Bekah. Working on his Master's Degree as also been on his list of "Things to Do While There's Time".

Yet, that Time is not indefinite, nor is it free, and as we watch on the News each day varying levels of hysteria regarding the National Economy, our own personal economy here at home is in a similar plunge. Instead of joining the Nation in the rush to hysteria however, we are turning our eyes and trust to the God Who has brought us through storms before this, and has promised never to leave us or forsake us.

There are so many promises in Scripture regarding God's care for His people which at first glance, don't seem to hold up in the face of reality. How could there be so much pain and suffering in the world if God is really watching over us? If He is true to His Word, why aren't all diseases healed, all people happy and prosperous?

My purpose here isn't to tackle the great issues of the existence of evil in the world. But simply for us, here and now, I''m thinking that my definition of "happiness" isn't always reliable to line up with what the Eternal Creator of the universe deems to be best for me. Maybe the One Who formed me in my mother's womb has a higher call for me. What if it is actually more miraculous to change my heart, my will, and my desires than to leave a bag of money on my doorstep? What if, when I am going through personal pain and anguish of soul, my turning to Christ and looking to Him in trust for His Will in the situation is actually bringing about more of a lasting transformation than an alteration of the circumstances around me. If in the midst of the storm, God is transforming me on the inside, so that no amount of external wind and waves can wash it away, then that is the miracle. That is the promise.

I'm not sure what God has in store for us in this transition. I am asking in prayer that He would be gracious to allow us to stay here in our home, in this community which we have grown to love, in this area which we are still learning to know, with the church where we are family. But I am also confident that whatsoever comes to pass, His Will will be done. We aren't going to slip through any "cosmic cracks" in His plan. His plans for us are for our good, but even more importantly, they are for His glory.

I do still struggle in prayer sometimes, whether I am being presumptuous to ask for what I want, am I being self-centered in my requests, asking out of wrong motives. (After all, I love myself very much and I have a wonderful plan for my life!) I do sincerely believe that God hears prayer, God answers prayer, and that I am His child. I know full well that I misunderstand much and cannot see into His eternal decree for our family. I trust Him entirely. My own desires and requests may be suspect, but my Lord never is.

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