Thursday, June 04, 2009


Quiet evening; third rainy/ drizzly/ grey day in a row. (And since when can't I legitimately spell grey with an e? It just feels like a grey with an e sort of day.) Most of my family is here at home where I can see, hear, and hold them. Two of my menfolk are on opposite sides of the globe. Though they are a mere phone call away, when the time difference is accounted for, it just isn't the same as having them here to see, hear, and hold.

Perhaps I am just feeling deflated tonight.

The kids are re-arranging bedrooms again so that Kate can move out of the basement which is evidently infected with a mysterious sleeping spell against which she is utterly helpless, the only remedy for which is sunlight streaming through a window. They have done this dance often enough that I need not step in. My job is to maintain the peace, which can be done without lifting a single stick of furniture.

Bright side: guest room for guests... But I need to clean up the rest of the basement in order to feel comfortable with friends going down those stairs. Sigh.

I want a cookie, or five. But my fat pants are tight.

The bills are paid. The big yard clean-up is accomplished. Everyone is healthy. The kitchen pantry overflows with food. So why am I deflated?

I lift up my eyes to the hills.
From where does my help come?
My help comes from the LORD,
who made heaven and earth.
(from Psalm 121)

I miss Jim. I miss Nathaniel. My Lord is as close to each of them as He is to me here, and he knows the ache in my heart. I have so much right here around me for which to be thankful, so very much.

1 comment:

the mozas said...

Imi ridic ochi sus catre muntii. Unde mi ajutor? That psalm is one of the first songs I learned in Romania...I love it...I hum it often to Adrian while he drifts off to sleep. I can't imagine having my family as far away as yours is...and yet I'm sure my mom can relate since it was I who left 3000 miles from her. We were at a homecoming party today for my friend's brother who was in Iraq for 15 months away from his wife and two children...sigh.

You are a strong strong woman BA and I'm thankful God has related us and let us get to know each other again...I still have memories of you and Charles staying with us when we were little...for this I am thankful because it brought you to God.

I'm probably running out of room, but I so love that you are reading TKAM...I taught that book for 4 years and never grow tired of it. I need my own copy, so I too can read it to my children.

Know that I am thinking of you this week. mere