Monday, October 19, 2015

Oh, my Brain.....

Oh, hmmm,... how to begin?

I have taken a mostly-unintended hiatus from writing.  Not that there haven't been things to write about—which there have—and not that I haven't had the time—which has become increasingly rare—but that I haven't quite known how. 

You see, I have dedicated this blog to primarily my own story.  Or, rather, how I have seen God writing his story of my life through the circumstances which he has placed me.  In the past months, however, my own story has interwoven with the stories of others which I do not at this time feel privileged to tell.  Unraveling the strands has simply proven too difficult as my own time and space for carefully considering what I am writing has dwindled to practically nill.

And now I feel a swell building for something which I desire to share.  A story of God's mercy and grace through a painfully tender cross which he has asked me to bear.  But I simply can't find the words.

Have you ever felt—physically felt—yourself growing stupid?  I sit here and stare at the screen and it's as if my brain has melted, or atrophied, or... something.  I don't know.   I've walked away and pursued other tasks around the house, come back, and still,... nothing.  There is a wet and heavy quilt muffling my thoughts and I can't budge it to save my post.  Part of it is the pain, part of it is the untangling, but most of it is the wet blanket.

So here's what I'm going to do.  I'm going to write anyway.  I'll write about the construction workers next door hammering down shingles rhythmically all day to the point where I pause if I don't hear them.  I'll share that my creative slump isn't limited to writing this blog, but I am cooking meals on autopilot which means... blah.  I'll confess that I haven't run in weeks and besides my jeans getting tighter (arg!) I know this is a piece of the puzzle to my writer's block. And yes, I'll say it right here: I do believe that Facebook is sucking my life away...

(Caveat: That is, besides the links to really good articles and the communication with my daughters who all live entirely too far away.)

So I hereby pledge (plan, hope, choose) to re-start my running routine, play more music when I am home alone, and severely limit my Facebook usage.

Perhaps this will draw the quilt away from my brain and allow me to think clearly again.

And, oh, the construction workers must be done for the day.  Silence.

Thursday, January 01, 2015

In the Beginning: Happy New Year

Welcome to a new year, 2015, freshly hatched and full of possibilities.

As with most years in the past twenty-or-so years I am beginning with the good intention of reading through the Bible.  The whole Bible.  After all, it's what Christians do, right?  And I am a reader.  Anyone who knows me knows that I love to read; anyone who has been to my home has seen the plain evidence that I love to read in the vast shelves of books that fill our living room. 

So in the past twenty-or-so years how many times do you suppose I have accomplished this feat?


Friday, December 05, 2014

Comfort, Comfort Ye My People

After reading a blog post by Thabati Anyabwile a couple of days ago I have been challenged, in light of current events, to look past the distractions of looting and pillaging mobs (which are still a serious issue, yes) and to examine the root issues through the lens of the gospel.  Behind the sensationalism brought to us by the media lies deep pain and sadness, even fear.  A mother has lost a son.  A wife is now a widow.  The very institutions put in place to defend and protect are feared by an entire segment of our population, many of whom are my brothers and sisters in Christ.

Friday, July 25, 2014

Worldview Miscommunication

Because I'm not so good with the putting-the-words-together-thing in real-life with real-live people, I often wish I had a pause button so that, when stumped with a question or statement that demands a clear and thoughtful answer, I could step away from the conversation and give more thought, prayer, a bit of research, and perhaps find a pithy quote from someone—anyone—profoundly wiser than me in order to contribute intelligently to the exchange of ideas.

Monday, January 20, 2014

Ballad of the Unborn

Last October our friend, Ernie, stopped by a yard sale.  While browsing, he spotted a mug which appealed to him and picked it up for a closer inspection.  The mug was in great condition, but inside he found a folded piece of paper.  He carefully opened the lined paper, yellowed with age, to find a poem written in beautiful handwriting.  When he showed it to the seller she said he could take it with the purchase of the mug.  

When he showed the poem to me I couldn't get past the first stanza without tears.

Sunday, January 05, 2014

Self-Defense For Runners

A couple of weeks ago I signed up for a class offered by one of the local running stores in my new hometown.  This class wasn't about form, or speed, or tempo, or anything like that.  This was about Self-Defense for Runners.  I'm new to the area, am still figuring out where to run, and have not found any running buddies outside of a weekly "social run" sponsored by the same store.  If they're teaching about safety in this new—larger—city in which I now live and run, then it's probably something I ought to learn.

And then, on New Year's Eve, in the park where I recently found my new favorite trail, a runner was killed.

Thursday, January 02, 2014

A Clean Slate

A New Year has begun, a new calendar is ready to be filled.  Fresh and new and full of promise.

But how is this different from one day to the next?  We've exchanged the 13 for a 14, but today is still Thursday, the day before Friday.  Good intentions in the form of "Resolutions" have just as much chance as any intention at the beginning of any week of the year to succeed or fail, according to the strength of my own discipline or the twists and turns of providential circumstance.